how has the last 10 years of consistent failure on all fronts led to me needing a woman to feel complete? i'm just an empty shell of what everyone used to want me to be, now i just sit here wondering what more can i do... Still hung up on obvious bad decision in my love life i'm finding it impossible to relate to anyone of the opposite sex. I'm so quick to call out flaws or label someone as "damaged" so i can stop the bad relationship train before it leaves the station, not realizing that i'm the most damaged of them all.
I realized a long time ago that people are just worried about what you think of them and i used this shortcut to get what i wanted since then. Now that the dust of our teenage years has settled im left walking around in a nightmare, all the fears that kept me with her for so long come to life. its so easy to call or text those people who make you feel at home rather then deal with the issues head on alone.
an overwhelming feeling of need comes to me now as i try to deal with the daily grind and late payments, the easy way has always been to find the next girl, go on a hunt until i have what i need. My honesty is keeping me from faking it and finding the next girl has proven dangerous. im not regretful of the last 10 years i just wish i would have done some things differently...
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